Once you have kids its nearly impossible to date your husband and keep that same fire alive but I think it's still totally necessary. I am the first to admit that we have lots of room to improve in this area but keeping your marriage healthy will only make you better parents. I think a husband and wife need alone time and time to reconnect without the focus being the children. If you only focus on the kids and grow farther apart from your spouse what good is that for your kids?
Dating while married becomes hard because spontaneity is out the window. You can't say at 6 pm, "Want to go out to dinner just the two of us?" You also can't escape for a weekend away or lay in bed all morning on a Saturday. Since so many options are out the window once you have kids you have to find other ways to connect with your spouse. My husband and I have said several times in the past we are going to make time for date nights but it doesn't happen too often. I think if you don't commit to it and actually schedule it into your calendar it won't happen. We are now picking one night a month to put date night on the calendar. We also are going to schedule a group date on the calendar.
We also just returned from a bit of a stay-cation. We're stayed at a hotel about 30 minutes away for one night and left the girls with family. It was close enough that we could go for one night and it's also reasonably priced because it's not a fancy destination. Getting away even for one night a couple of times a year really re-energizes us. Of course we totally talked about the kids while we were gone but the conversation didn't revolve around, "Eat over your plate, cover your mouth, don't talk with your mouth full, etc." It was way more adult centered!
Another way to date your spouse is utilizing the time once the kids go to bed to do something together. How often do we put the kids to bed and then go about our own business or basically start getting ready for bed??? This is one of the reasons we've always had an early bed time for our kids so that we can have a little adult time without having to go straight to bed ourselves. Use that time to watch your favorite tv show or play a board game (I wish my husband would like this as much as I do). It's so easy to get caught up in the 2016 way of life.... Sometimes we put the kids down and 10 minutes later I look up and we're both on the couch looking at our phones. HELLO!!!! We're two feet apart and aren't speaking to each other. It's definitely not because we are mad at each other but just get caught up in the current way of life. Join me in putting a stop to that!
Bring back the date night and dating your spouse.
Here are a few ideas for date nights:
1. The obvious Dinner & Movie
2. Gun Range
3. Breakout Room-We have a new place in Fresno that I'm dying to try. You are locked in a room for 60 minutes and left with clues to try and break out.
4. Miniature Golf
5. Adult Trampoline Night (Fresnans-Skywalk)
6. Go Cart Racing (Fresnans- MB2)
7. Farmer's Market
8. Drive In Movie
9. Game Night at home
10. Give each other massages
11. Rent a movie and pig out on junk food
12. Look through old pictures together (I know your guy won't want to do this too often but once a year I bet he would enjoy it.)
For the the date nights out here is some inspiration for you:
As you know I totally believe in dressing up for the occasion and dressing up for your spouse. This look adds just enough sex appeal with the cold shoulder and stiletto heels. But since it's a flowy shirt and jeans it's still comfortable and easy to wear.
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| This clutch is Vintage. It was my grandmother's and I was so lucky to have it handed down to me. |
How do you keep the fire alive in your marriage? What are your ideas for date nights, in or out?
I'd love to hear your thoughts!
